28.1.08
* bem * (just an excerpt)
-excerpt (3rd ntbk.)-
the two perfects
written by Blaise
I could remember another unforgettable
moment that happened before the S.O’s
arrival. I was sitting on the ledge,
alone, on the rooftop when somebody
came. It was the first time Yukito and I
met on the first top. The first and the
last.
“Do you stay here all the time?” he
asked when he sat down beside me.
“Uhm, just sometimes. When I just want
to or when I want to think things over.
You?” I replied.
“Just the same with you.”
“I wonder why we just met today? I mean,
here?” I asked.
“In all those times that we spent here,
we never met? Ha! Coincidence, maybe!
But I guess, it’s fate. We are destined
to meet here today.” He said, smiling,
his eyes twinkling.
“Do you believe in destiny?”
“Yes I do. Uhm, not entirely.”
“Luck?”
“Nah, luck doesn’t always win. Believing
in one’s capacity does.”
There was a pause where we gathered our
thoughts. This guy beside me is really a
weirdo, I say!
“I like this place,” he said as he
disheveled his hair.
“It’s peaceful.” I replied, nodding.
“The way the wind blows, the excellent
atmosphere, a good place of thinking…
it’s a perfect place. I don’t just like
it, I love it!”
“Haha! You know, a few people know this
place. Maybe less than a dozen?”
“I hope so.”
We grew quiet again. He took his bag and
got something inside it. He showed it to
me. A pen radio with lights and recorder.
“Wanna play?” he asked, placing the pen
radio down on the ledge.
“Play what?”
”Truth or dare.”
Before I could answer, he drew the pen
around and waited for it to stop. We
both waited, betting on who would go
first. At last, it gave a final twist,
the pointed end pointed at him.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth! No personal questions please!”
“Ok.” I nodded. “Er, uh… are you a nerd?”
“Hell no! I don’t study much! Mostly are
stocked knowledge… hey, do you study
every night?”
“Duh no. To tell you the truth, I just
study when there are exams.”
“When I receive my books during the
summer, I get used of reading my books
in advance, only when there are
interesting topics. During school days?
I shake my brain to remember the bit
that I studied. Shake here, shake there!”
We laughed, and he drew the pen around
again. It got me.
“Gotcha!” he exclaimed. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“Dare? Take a leap down! Joke, really!
Ok, er, take your tie from your hair.”
“Why?” I asked, quite hesitant to follow
his command.
“I like to look at you that way, you
know, when your hair is down.” He said
truthfully, looking at me in the eye. I
took my tie and allowed my hair down
with Yukito looking at me as I did. He
smiled, satisfied, and drew the pen
around for the third time.
“Dare.” The pen had pointed at him.
“Ruki, you better give me something fun.”
“Ok.” I searched my bag for idea. I
groped inside and got Kinichi’s make-up
kit, which she gave to me during break
for safekeeping for a while.
“What’s this?” he asked curiously,
taking the kit, “A make-up kit? Is this
yours?”
“It’s not mine. It’s Kinichi’s.”
“oh. So what are you going to…?”
I gave him a clue with a mischievous
look on my face. He read my expression
and drew a horrified look, his brows
raised. “M-me?”
“Uhuh.”
“0h-oh…”
“You said dare. So this it. Wait for my
instructions, ok? Just stay put.” I
commanded as I opened the kit and began
choosing the colors. I began applying
the colors. Honestly, I don’t know much
about make-ups. But I know how to
combine and balance the colors.
I began applying the colors on his face.
He didn’t complain, in fact, he sat
still like what I commanded him to do.
After several confusing minutes, I gave
his face a final touch, placing a fake
pimple on his nose.
“Bull’s-eye!” I said happily, enjoying
the effects of the make-up. I gave the
mirror to him, “Take a look.”
He took the mirror and gasped as he
watched his face in mild horror. I had
tied his hair into two, applied
blush-on, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner
and a few more. He looked cute with his
hair! He touched his face, horrified at
his transfiguration. I burst into
laughter as he looked appalled and said,
“What did you do??”
”Pretty, isn’t it?” I said, “now here’s
what you’re going to do: do not ever
erase that make-up on your face. Wear
that for an hour and kindly go there,” I
pointed down a tree that was visible in
our view, “and get me three leaves.
That’s it.”
“W-what?? Down there?? Ruki, there’s
gotta be loads of people who’d see me!”
“You’ve got the guts, Mr. Perfect! And
besides, you’re beautiful, they won’t
spot the difference!”
“Can you change the dare?? Ruki, I’m not
confident with this thing on!”
“Oh c’mon, Kits! Don’t be a killjoy!
Don’t worry coz in our next truth or
dare, we won’t do this. And in this
consequence, you can show me that you’re
worth the president, I mean, you’re a
one of a kind officer in spite the
obstacles on your way. Aaaand… maybe
your future girlfriend might do this to
you; you should be ready for it. Now if
you choose to give up, just tell me and
we’ll start the game all over again.”
He faltered, thinking on what to do. “No
way! I’ll do this dare!”
“That’s the boy!”
He squared his shoulders, climbed down
the ledge, and strutted toward the door
and to the stairs. I waited for his
appearance eagerly below. A minute
later, he appeared, walking towards the
tree. The students who passed by laughed
and asked him (maybe) why he appeared
that way. He answered (I dunno what he
said; it can’t be heard from where I am
sitting. It’s so far away.). The
students left with funny grins on their
faces. “What did he say?” I thought. He
took, instead, three flowers beside the
tree and headed back to the rooftop.
“here you go. For you.” He said, handing
me the flowers, when he arrived.
“Hey, I told you to get three leaves,
remember? Not three flowers!”
“I know. Take a look at their stems.
Each flower has one leaf. See? I picked
the flowers for you.” He said, looking
at me in the eyes. I flushed when he
said, “Put one on your ear. It’ll make
you look more beautiful.”
I picked the best flower and, without
hesitation, placed it on my ear. He
smiled, his eyes sparkling with
happiness and satisfaction. I felt like
melting with his gaze and at the same
time I twinged. (Shame on you Ruki! What
have you done to him?! He’s been a joke
because of you! Ruki, shape him up!)
“You can erase the make-up now.” I said
in a small voice. “Forget the deal.”
“No, I’ll do this dare.” He repeated.
“Yukito, I’m sorry for—for putting you
into shame—”
“Shame? No, Ruki, we have this game for
fun. Nothing to worry about.” He said,
but added when he saw me looking
troubled, “It’s all right, ok? I’ve got
the guts, right? You said it so
yourself. And I have.”
He patted my back assuringly. I sighed.
I thought he’d gotten angry! But thank
God he’ isn’t. he smiled again, and
both of us looked straight ahead,
savoring the soft breeze.
“Do you know what I told them?” he said.
I turned to him and answered,
“No.”
“Of course you don’t. You can’t hear it
from here.”
He paused, inhaled and exhaled deeply,
and then he said, now looking at me full
in the eye,
“I told them that I do these things for
you.”
moment that happened before the S.O’s
arrival. I was sitting on the ledge,
alone, on the rooftop when somebody
came. It was the first time Yukito and I
met on the first top. The first and the
last.
“Do you stay here all the time?” he
asked when he sat down beside me.
“Uhm, just sometimes. When I just want
to or when I want to think things over.
You?” I replied.
“Just the same with you.”
“I wonder why we just met today? I mean,
here?” I asked.
“In all those times that we spent here,
we never met? Ha! Coincidence, maybe!
But I guess, it’s fate. We are destined
to meet here today.” He said, smiling,
his eyes twinkling.
“Do you believe in destiny?”
“Yes I do. Uhm, not entirely.”
“Luck?”
“Nah, luck doesn’t always win. Believing
in one’s capacity does.”
There was a pause where we gathered our
thoughts. This guy beside me is really a
weirdo, I say!
“I like this place,” he said as he
disheveled his hair.
“It’s peaceful.” I replied, nodding.
“The way the wind blows, the excellent
atmosphere, a good place of thinking…
it’s a perfect place. I don’t just like
it, I love it!”
“Haha! You know, a few people know this
place. Maybe less than a dozen?”
“I hope so.”
We grew quiet again. He took his bag and
got something inside it. He showed it to
me. A pen radio with lights and recorder.
“Wanna play?” he asked, placing the pen
radio down on the ledge.
“Play what?”
”Truth or dare.”
Before I could answer, he drew the pen
around and waited for it to stop. We
both waited, betting on who would go
first. At last, it gave a final twist,
the pointed end pointed at him.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth! No personal questions please!”
“Ok.” I nodded. “Er, uh… are you a nerd?”
“Hell no! I don’t study much! Mostly are
stocked knowledge… hey, do you study
every night?”
“Duh no. To tell you the truth, I just
study when there are exams.”
“When I receive my books during the
summer, I get used of reading my books
in advance, only when there are
interesting topics. During school days?
I shake my brain to remember the bit
that I studied. Shake here, shake there!”
We laughed, and he drew the pen around
again. It got me.
“Gotcha!” he exclaimed. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“Dare? Take a leap down! Joke, really!
Ok, er, take your tie from your hair.”
“Why?” I asked, quite hesitant to follow
his command.
“I like to look at you that way, you
know, when your hair is down.” He said
truthfully, looking at me in the eye. I
took my tie and allowed my hair down
with Yukito looking at me as I did. He
smiled, satisfied, and drew the pen
around for the third time.
“Dare.” The pen had pointed at him.
“Ruki, you better give me something fun.”
“Ok.” I searched my bag for idea. I
groped inside and got Kinichi’s make-up
kit, which she gave to me during break
for safekeeping for a while.
“What’s this?” he asked curiously,
taking the kit, “A make-up kit? Is this
yours?”
“It’s not mine. It’s Kinichi’s.”
“oh. So what are you going to…?”
I gave him a clue with a mischievous
look on my face. He read my expression
and drew a horrified look, his brows
raised. “M-me?”
“Uhuh.”
“0h-oh…”
“You said dare. So this it. Wait for my
instructions, ok? Just stay put.” I
commanded as I opened the kit and began
choosing the colors. I began applying
the colors. Honestly, I don’t know much
about make-ups. But I know how to
combine and balance the colors.
I began applying the colors on his face.
He didn’t complain, in fact, he sat
still like what I commanded him to do.
After several confusing minutes, I gave
his face a final touch, placing a fake
pimple on his nose.
“Bull’s-eye!” I said happily, enjoying
the effects of the make-up. I gave the
mirror to him, “Take a look.”
He took the mirror and gasped as he
watched his face in mild horror. I had
tied his hair into two, applied
blush-on, lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner
and a few more. He looked cute with his
hair! He touched his face, horrified at
his transfiguration. I burst into
laughter as he looked appalled and said,
“What did you do??”
”Pretty, isn’t it?” I said, “now here’s
what you’re going to do: do not ever
erase that make-up on your face. Wear
that for an hour and kindly go there,” I
pointed down a tree that was visible in
our view, “and get me three leaves.
That’s it.”
“W-what?? Down there?? Ruki, there’s
gotta be loads of people who’d see me!”
“You’ve got the guts, Mr. Perfect! And
besides, you’re beautiful, they won’t
spot the difference!”
“Can you change the dare?? Ruki, I’m not
confident with this thing on!”
“Oh c’mon, Kits! Don’t be a killjoy!
Don’t worry coz in our next truth or
dare, we won’t do this. And in this
consequence, you can show me that you’re
worth the president, I mean, you’re a
one of a kind officer in spite the
obstacles on your way. Aaaand… maybe
your future girlfriend might do this to
you; you should be ready for it. Now if
you choose to give up, just tell me and
we’ll start the game all over again.”
He faltered, thinking on what to do. “No
way! I’ll do this dare!”
“That’s the boy!”
He squared his shoulders, climbed down
the ledge, and strutted toward the door
and to the stairs. I waited for his
appearance eagerly below. A minute
later, he appeared, walking towards the
tree. The students who passed by laughed
and asked him (maybe) why he appeared
that way. He answered (I dunno what he
said; it can’t be heard from where I am
sitting. It’s so far away.). The
students left with funny grins on their
faces. “What did he say?” I thought. He
took, instead, three flowers beside the
tree and headed back to the rooftop.
“here you go. For you.” He said, handing
me the flowers, when he arrived.
“Hey, I told you to get three leaves,
remember? Not three flowers!”
“I know. Take a look at their stems.
Each flower has one leaf. See? I picked
the flowers for you.” He said, looking
at me in the eyes. I flushed when he
said, “Put one on your ear. It’ll make
you look more beautiful.”
I picked the best flower and, without
hesitation, placed it on my ear. He
smiled, his eyes sparkling with
happiness and satisfaction. I felt like
melting with his gaze and at the same
time I twinged. (Shame on you Ruki! What
have you done to him?! He’s been a joke
because of you! Ruki, shape him up!)
“You can erase the make-up now.” I said
in a small voice. “Forget the deal.”
“No, I’ll do this dare.” He repeated.
“Yukito, I’m sorry for—for putting you
into shame—”
“Shame? No, Ruki, we have this game for
fun. Nothing to worry about.” He said,
but added when he saw me looking
troubled, “It’s all right, ok? I’ve got
the guts, right? You said it so
yourself. And I have.”
He patted my back assuringly. I sighed.
I thought he’d gotten angry! But thank
God he’ isn’t. he smiled again, and
both of us looked straight ahead,
savoring the soft breeze.
“Do you know what I told them?” he said.
I turned to him and answered,
“No.”
“Of course you don’t. You can’t hear it
from here.”
He paused, inhaled and exhaled deeply,
and then he said, now looking at me full
in the eye,
“I told them that I do these things for
you.”
-excerpt (3rd ntbk.)-
the two perfects
written by Blaise
22.1.08
I came across J.K Rowling's articles and got stuck with the topic "WANDS." Harry got holly (European tradition has it that holly repels evil), and Voldemort got yew (which can achieve astonishing longevity, can symbolize both death and resurrection; the sap is also poisonous.) Ron got ash wand while Hermione has a sturdy vine wood wand. I checked mine and i'd have an Elder wand! for those who haven't read book 7 of Harry Potter, the Elder wand is a renown wand with an extremely powerful core. (LOL.) Here's a list of woods and for you to know yours, check this out:
December 24 - January 20 = Birch (Beth)
January 21 - February 17 = Rowan (Luis)
February 18 - March 17 = Ash (Nion)
March 18 - April 14 = Alder (Fearn)
April 15 - May 12 = Willow (Saille)
May 13 - June 9 = Hawthorn (Huath)
June 10 - July 7 = Oak (Duir)
July 8 - August 4 = Holly (Tinne)
August 5 - September 1 = Hazel (Coll)
September 2 - September 29 = Vine (Muin)
September 30 - October 27 = Ivy (Gort)
October 28 - November 24 = Reed (Ngetal)
November 25 - December 23 = Elder (Ruis)
a classmate asked, "could you love two guys at the same time?"
I answered together with a guy friend. "Yes, of course."
"I mean, love two guys at the same moment? Are you sure?"
"Yes," I said, "but never on the same degree. One of them is heavier in one's heart than the other. it cannot be balanced."
"Yep," butted a guy friend, "the other one must be just a fling."
we can love two people at the same time, but someone between the two is more thought, felt and loved than the other. if we are to love two guys in the same degree, God should have given us two hearts, not one. Kaya nga isa lang eh, so that only one is loved eternally.
21.1.08
My stomach has been throbbing whole day. Sakit nga nagtuyok2 ang mga liquid sa ako tiyan. hahai. lain jud au nga murag madAh anG aKonG utOk bRain... Pero sad.i lang, lingaw bitaw today. mUra naa mi c0nference by tHe window. Choi au... we talked about experiences and we asked questions about the t0pic l0Ve. haha, mura jud mi mga kagwang... mura korek!
Daghan ko narealize, in fairness. there aRe so many things thAt i thought i knew... when in fact i doN't know much but just plain space. some people know what i don't know and they have experiences that are far different from mine. i never thought nga naa xa experience ana, assuming nga ako ra ang naay experience ato... ironic au, yet funny... imagine, three girls and a guy talking and debating about the most influential thing in the world while the whole class were busy doing their projects in a serious mode!
we do not know what is in store for us. whether the guy or girl is meant for us or not. a look in his or her eyes can give so much meaning and the beating of our hearts against our ribcage might give a rush of emotions yet we never know. we never know.
our purpose is to search for destiny. and our destiny is to love.
"For love assaults so suddenly,
most vital spirits desert and, as they do,
only one spirit remains alive in me,
one spirit left because it speaks of you."
-Dante Alighieri
19.1.08
Hey, I've been thinking lately. Funny, I think of him. about what's happening in the room as he stood up without me knowing and talked to me every time the teacher was out. He sat in front of me and chatted with me about everything. He talked and asked me about books, about words, about experience.
He calls me journalist.
He pinches my cheek to catch my attention. Sipsip pud ang ukoy! and then this week (for the nth time!) he asked me to write something for him. of course, i declined. but he was so insistent that i gave up. He sang songs--and i say they're ridiculous!-- as i read my book and he read his.
i thought... maybe i should continue liking him. besides, the school year is about to end. diri ra bitaw na taman sa high school. mugraduate na bitaw mi. and i quite need an inspiration, though. :)
we won't be in the same school anyway.
and would he know? i doubt that. i'm the passive type. :)
Winter Sonata...
embellished by snowflakes and cherry blossoms
frozen lakes and new, sheen ice skates
songs of the snow and perfect snowballs
colorful shawls, winter fleece jackets, parka and taffeta
chalet boots on the doorstep
chilly nights with the warmth of the flickering fire by the fireplace,
cuddled with someone who speaks of no winter,
no spring,
no summer,
no fall,
but of the one whose life is a quasar in the evening sky...
you.
but this sonata is in a melancholy
coz winter is
a perfect season...
to cry not for any other reason
but for one thing:
one's everything that turned out to be nothing...
Winter sonata...
silenced with a gush of wind
from a far away place.
snow.
silence.
18.1.08
thinking of something that is annoying only makes one feel annoyed.Well, I am--was--annoyed. i don't know. this girl appears at the wrong place and at the wrong time.
i wonder why she tries to appear innocent. i don't know if she's acting plastic or what. I just feel annoyed whenever i see her, especially when she enters the room.
I don't hate her. I'm just annoyed. Annoyed at things that I do not yet realize.
When will she ever stop?
* -bEm-*
I have good news!
I passed CNU...!
part of the first 60 from the 4 batches last November to December takers.
:)
Two days later i learned that I also passed in UP.
BS Psychology. Or Mass Com.
But now I'm confused on which course to take...
It's bothering me.
My Dad wants me to study in CNU.
MY sis wants me to take UP coz she said CNU's a torture.
a mom said that I'd better choose the course that I want and not be influenced by other people's decisions.
I know i must decide things on my own.
i've been doing that since i was young.
But then, this is hard.
I'm talking here about a lifetime commitment.
Lifetime job.
Lifetime profession.
I love the courses... and it's difficult to choose.
I have to make the right decision... fast.
I don't want to regret in the end and shift to another course.
If i am to study, i have to finish what I've started.
* -bEm-*
I have good news!
I passed CNU...!
part of the first 60 from the 4 batches last November to December takers.
:)
Two days later i learned that I also passed in UP.
BS Psychology. Or Mass Com.
But now I'm confused on which course to take...
It's bothering me.
My Dad wants me to study in CNU.
MY sis wants me to take UP coz she said CNU's a torture.
a mom said that I'd better choose the course that I want and not be influenced by other people's decisions.
I know i must decide things on my own.
i've been doing that since i was young.
But then, this is hard.
I'm talking here about a lifetime commitment.
Lifetime job.
Lifetime profession.
I love the courses... and it's difficult to choose.
I have to make the right decision... fast.
I don't want to regret in the end and shift to another course.
If i am to study, i have to finish what I've started.
* -bEm-*
11.1.08
* -bEm-*
Teardrops on my Guitar
Teardrops on my Guitar
Drew looks at me.
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be.
I'll bet she's beautiful,
That girl he talks about.
And she's got everything
That I have to live without.
Drew talks to me.
I laugh, cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see
Anyone, when he's with me.
He says he's so in love.
He's finally got it right.
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night!
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do.
Drew walks by me.
Can he tell that I cant breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly.
The kind of flawless I wish I could be.
She better hold him tight,
Give him all her love,
Look in those beautiful eyes,
And know she's lucky, cause
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star,
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do.
So I drive home alone.
As I turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down,
And maybe get some sleep tonight.
Cause he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
Don't know why I do.
He's the time taken up,
But there's never enough.
And he's all that I need to fall into.
Drew looks at me.
I fake a smile so he won't see.
This is so nostalgic...
it's melody has captured me deeply...
the lyrics too.
You know what the funny part is?
Just when I have told myself to forget him
and just move on the moment the new year started,
he's my new year's resolution!...
he's now talking to me.
he's teasing me around,
he's now pinching me on the cheek...
he's now smiling at me.
oh great! just what the hell is he doing??
and just what in the name of heaven am i doing??
huh?
it's melody has captured me deeply...
the lyrics too.
You know what the funny part is?
Just when I have told myself to forget him
and just move on the moment the new year started,
he's my new year's resolution!...
he's now talking to me.
he's teasing me around,
he's now pinching me on the cheek...
he's now smiling at me.
oh great! just what the hell is he doing??
and just what in the name of heaven am i doing??
huh?
but know what,
it's a wonder why i don't feel weird anymore.
i guess it's because I've trained my subconscious mind
to move on and let him go.
i just laugh as if nothing's going on in my head.
i don't reminisce about us any more, unlike before.
it's like i feel nothing.
that's good, isn't it?
He WAS the reason for the teardrops on my guitar...
the only thing that i once WISHED on a wishing star...
he WAS the song I've COMPOSED with my heart
didn't know why,
but now i do...
* -bEm-*
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