* -bEm-*

I almost screwed...
exams!
great. epistaxis.
but it's a relief our exams are now done.

i went to SM yesterday and it was totally crowded.
and again, GREAT! i saw my newest crush.
i don't know if you call that crush...
i just think he's cute.
haha, and he teased me, alright.
and i'm a mirror, ok. his teases backfired.
LOL..

Il dolore è troppo, che non è male.
Mi sento stupido. E senza vita.
The pain is too much, that it does not hurt.
I feel dumb. And lifeless.

bloody hell.
haha... senti.

but c'mon.
i shouldn't have allowed that 'revelation' to
take its toll on me.
i didn't realize it at first but...
why did it bloom like a cherry blossom
in chilly, lonesome winter?
How foolish of me.
i must be crazy,
illiterate,
a dweeb.
a careless, impetuous girl.
simply stupid.
love...

but I'm getting rid of him.
i AM letting go.
Moving on is within grasp.
Just a few more time.
a few more days.
i know im strong.
i am in control.
i have disciplined my mind.
... mind over heart, they say.
but when Cupid's arrow have pierced me,
i was cornered.
but i had a choice.
i always have.
and my choice
is not to cower on the corner and
be swallowed by his enticing gestures,
but to run.
and leave.
and never come back.
And i'm telling you,
i'm going home.


but i cannot say the word yet...
this choice of letting go of the strings is within me
but i can't utter it yet.
i'm waiting for the right time.
but i will never let HIM know
that it's him i'm letting go...

Waiting is the sweetest agony...
A broken heart is not the most painful thing.
It is FALSE HOPE,
awakened by the most painful truth.
and betrayal...



what if one day you'd realize
that you're falling on the wrong guy?
what would you do?
me?
i'll sleep.
i'll sleep him good night.
and i'll wish that when i wake up,
i'll have sore eyes.

* -bEm-*