Il mio messaggio ai miei compagni di lotto di persona:
My message to my fellow batch mates:

It has been years, years of poignant and funny memories, boredom and excitement, relaxed and pressured moments. At last, we’re about to march on the stage and start another journey the moment we leave high school: the college life.

But we’re not saying “Bye.” No, for real goodbyes do not exist in real friendships. Our bonds, which can never be detached from each of us, will be forever remembered and treasured more than those precious diamonds one can attain from deep quarries. No, for goodbyes only mean we’re leaving everything behind without even having an intention of looking back.

What we’re going to say is “See you soon.” That’s what we call a transitory farewell; a temporary parting of ways, because we know our diverging roads will all join in one junction in the end. We’re friends, aren’t we? And friends will always be friends, no matter how far they are from each other. Distance won’t count. Time won’t either. Only the EXPONENTIAL GROWTH of our friendship will stay in this GLOBALIZED WORLD with FORCE and POWER even when fate conquers it.

“Los amigos hasta el fin, los petimetres. ¡Véale pronto!”

(Friends forever, dudes. See you soon!)

Ya know, they all left just this morning. One a.m. From sixteen people in the house, only six were left: my parents, Dodot, me, Ate Apple and our housekeeper, Ate Juliet. The rest departed without waking us up just to say farewell or to let us nick some food from their loaded handbags. They all left for Zamboanga Sibugay to have some vacation for a couple of days and to attend a good friend of my aunt's wedding. And I'm stuck here, waiting for the clock to tick before I finally march on the stage for the ultimate finale of our High school life.
that's a "Yeah!"
But honestly, i feel ill-equipped for this. I'm not yet ready... because I don't feel the moment YET! Do you think I just need a shake to wake up from a dream and face reality that I'm about to pass into another dimension of my life?
I think I'm a big idiot.
hehe!

™ΩΩΩ™

I've been eating a lot lately. For two weeks, from my normal appetite to threefold one, i find this kind of change quite spine-tingling. Oh yes, I've been eating a lot, in other words! From chocolates to a complete buffet of SIX meat dishes in one meal--name it-- can you imagine that i haven't gained any weight?? well, i felt quite stuffed but when I asked others about how i looked, they'd say I just looked normal. Whoa, that's kinda weird... because I've been monitoring myself, from my face to my wrists and I've found them expanding!!
Well, my goal's to get fatter. At least gain a few pounds and have some muscles on the work out.
I guess i have to work harder than usual! :)

well, uh, this picture was taken after our rite of passage.
here's another one:

and another one:


Well, how's that?
haha, i barely expose my skin whenever i pose. but this was an exemption. It was, like, a prom night! you know what the funny part was? Just when it was fifteen minutes before the curfew on the blazing dance floor, it was the only time that I danced the night away!! frankly speaking, it was not so fun as i thought. KJ ang admin eh!
If it were me, I'd let the seniors and juniors enjoy the night until eleven or twelve, not until nine in the evening--with no buts! it was such an "Aww... what a shame!" night. And the little memento we received were SJA mugs... and my mug is being displayed here together with all the decorative glassware from all sorts of events from all ages as little-tokens-of-whatever in the cupboard. (Whew!) but then, it's ok. At least I've discovered who the real couples were! haha...
KAWAI!

Oh shodi--SHODI!
I'm a happy little cookie now! C'mon, my crush gave me a hug! uh, actually, he was the one who asked for it... but who wouldn't feel oh so heaven??
Oops, it looked this way:
uh well... I think the first one fits my experience more because i was, let's say, seized by him in that position. oooh... shucks, am i really a feeler? but then, it's true. This really happened. THIS REALLY HAPPENED!

Actually, it's a long story. But...

... It was a magical moment... for me. But then in the end I almost cried... because while he was hugging me he was thinking of his BIOCHEMS... his biochems...

but at least, the only thing that I've ever wished from the beginning has finally come true...

every time I think about it, I feel two emotions: happiness and sadness. Happy that he asked AND gave me a hug, a big, tender hug but sad at the thought that just when every thing's about to end... But it doesn't mean I have feelings for... no. That's not it. I don't have--of course I don't. It's just memories come flashing by whenever I remember this little occurrence in the room. I feel sad because he was thinking of his Biochems when he hugged me. well, that's what I thought. But then, c'mon!! he said it so himself! "Wa man gud ako uyab gud..."
Now what does that mean??
Hahai...
It didn't stop there, actually. There were two other major things that happened after that.
I'll type it down after I get over this one.
LOL.

Just this morning I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

I was heading to the canteen with Ma D, and everybody was piling out and heading in to purchase their food on the counter when I happened to pass right behind Francis 'mamaw' right outside, eating something that I never saw nor knew. Many students were rushing through and when I spotted my buddy, i called him out in a singsong voice,
"MAMAW!"
When he heard me, he turned and replied in a voice I will never ever forget.
"Mamaw!!"
It was a voice full of glee, a voice of thrill and excitement and relief and happiness, as if he had just seen me there in front of him for the first time in ten years. Like he was so overjoyed to have me around.
Right then and there I halted in the middle of the doorway, my head in his direction. i was deeply touched by his voice, his word--only a single word!-- that I muttered to Danielle, deeply touched,
"I miss him."

Yes, I miss him. I miss this 'slecher' guy who's been a good friend of mine for years.
And i can say... He's such a MamaW!
But though his a MamaW, I'm gonna miss him... soon.

*Hello Maw! If you happen to read this, thanks for being a cool friend of mine! TC always!

Well, changing the skin can be tough work.
It took me almost an hour to work this out coz I was searching for something quite cute and positive. And I found one! Lolz. well, it meant i have to change my cbox too.
at least I've changed my site into a cuter one unlike Orochimaru's, right? hehe... what was that term again? you know, changing the snake's skin? I forgot...
anyway, I'm so relaxed coz the exams are finally over! Yeah!
Right now I'm working for my fourth episode of my sequel. And a classmate of mine challenged me to write a story of IVB! well, how's that for a challenge?
haha, really challenging, eh.
I'll try though. I'm doing a double time 'round here.

Yes! We're already through with the finals!!
It's time to march!
weeehhh...

It was quite a nosebleed, honestly. the week before...
especially Filipino! argh, I've thought Mdm. Ponce would be merciful since we're graduating...
I was sighing a lot of times during the test and when I looked around, everybody was rolling their eyes in frustration. Dorothy even joined in. She kept on dropping her head on her armchair with a miserable look on her face and I said, "Whoa. This is such a blow."
But then, there's no prob. besides, it's not a major subject anyway. :)
Physics was the easiest. I got through it without a scratch!
After the test, everybody was jumping with joy. there was noise in the air... you know what I mean.

well, that afternoon, Cherssy, Biona and I went to Shuttlecock in Tralala, Cabancalan to play Badminton. It was really fun! The two of them enjoyed a lot as much as I. They have improved, especially Cherssy, who was used to keep the shuttlecock in a lob. but now she managed to put some style. I was not so tired-- it was like i was so energized being on the court! It was like being home...

char!

I really feel awkward. i have been angry ever since i left school just for a single person: the moderator.

we haven't gotten along well ever since the start of the year. our ideals were different--i wasn't used to her ways and i don't quite agree to everything she says. but i had no choice. i'm the subordinate. i'm the pres and i can't compromise my position for serving others just for voicing out my opinions, which would not be listened anyway. i can't just retort. i can't do that. i have respect for her and for myself. but then, does she know the difference between talking back and speaking up? can she just understand and consider our situation, especially the fourth years'? Both instances where I have spoken up have been on the exams week, 1.), the day before our mastery test, 2.) on the first day of the fourth year finals. i know she wants things to be perfect, but then does everything have to be so... perfect? trying too hard would only make the goal narrow and empty. our former moderator, Mdm. Taneo, never pressured us as much as she's been doing to the point that we become annoyed and disapproving. can she sense us at all? I know she and Mdm. T are different but i just can't help but compare them. They are so different. Mdm T is soft spoken, patient and compassionate. the one who replaced her may have goals but she is just so different to what we have used to. Mdm T was game and understanding and she listens to us. I don't know with the other...

I know I have my fault. With this, I've become irritable in school. I wasn't able to concentrate on our exams just because of this. And to think, it was MATH! argh, it was supposed to be easy. but I got Alzheimer's the moment the test paper landed on my armchair. Great. I was annoyed, persistently annoyed at everything. it was like i was an enraged tiger waiting to pounce on live meat. only i was in control (but my fists were clenched, that is). I was angry at myself, at her, at everybody. The turmoil I felt inside was boiling that I want to do a Karate Kick on the wall and give a mighty jab to release the anger and frustration that i felt inside. i kept on thinking that i should be careful in what i'm doing, and always stay in control even at times I'm seized by the moment. I mumble, yes, but i do with all my willpower to compress the emotion in a big box deep inside me. I succeed most of the time, but the emotion is evident on my eyes. I can't suppress that. But i also try.

I have to evaluate myself. I have to think on the next move so that when i leave the school, there would be no hard feelings and unfinished business. I want to leave a legend worth to remember. I have to be careful, especially now that I'm steps away from my graduation day.
But i think I won't be getting that Leadership medal. I don't deserve it, for I feel I'm a wretched leader even at times when I defend my ideals and get mocked in the end. It's just so depressing. i try to manage everything by facing every situation; I do my part as a voice. But do they listen?

If that's the case, the problem is in them. Not in me.
But I still have that nagging feeling....
Oh I need to recollect and think. I need more sangfroid. I need to reset the alarm clock...